Extending compassion

My father’s health has deteriorated over the past few years and taking care of him has come to the forefront. We have always had a distant relationship as he left my family at a very young age. Over the years, I have assisted financially with his housing and personal needs. Although I have often found myself questioning why things happened how they did, what my obligation was to my absentee father, I realized it was keeping me stuck in anger, frustration and disappointment. 

Instead, I began to process my own feelings, lean into these past experiences and learn more about myself. Although they were difficult moments, I had a choice in how I told the story. I could paint myself as the victim or choose to celebrate the heroine I had become that had overcome so much adversity. The more I unpeeled, the more awareness I gained not only for myself but for my father. I began to see him as a person who had both parents die at a young age, which made him incapable of forming solid, loving relationships. He might not have known any other way and I can accept that. My new thought in our relationship is “I will show up today with love and compassion.”